I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
