I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
