Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
