I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
