I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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