i permit you to call me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
