I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
