Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
