Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
