I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
