it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
