dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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