dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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