Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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