we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
