Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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