Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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