Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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