I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
