Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
