i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
