I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
