Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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