she was so not down for the gang bang
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
