Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
