Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she woke up with a sticky ear
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
