Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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