and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
