Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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