One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
