Apparently you make a good broom.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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