when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
