Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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