This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
