I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
