This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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