Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
