Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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