We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
