I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
