we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
