she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
