i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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