Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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