The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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