You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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