No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
