i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
