census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
