Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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