Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
